you know you suck at video games when...

1. you've been trying to pass the first world of Super Mario Bros. 3 for the past two hours and you haven't even gotten to fighting bowser............

2. your name is yuy ren.

Seriously! What is this?? I've beat this part of the game before, but today, for some crazy reason I can't get past the third stage on the first level. I've been running into every thing and anything.... and falling through every crack in every way conceivable. I think I've set a new record for crappy gaming.....


I also think I should stop playing games and all that stuff and focus more on academics.

I'm getting that nagging feelings I usually get when I start feeling 'small'. Like... that feeling you get when you think "shit, I'm wasting my time. I should be doing something more productive. And I don't mean currently, as in, do homework or study, I meant on a grandeur scale. Like.... I should be entering contests, volunteering at events, going to conferences, networking and working towards a professional goal (in my case, business/finance/accounting). Sort of like.... the feeling you get when you think your life just ain't good enough... or at least, the way you're living it or the direction that you're going to [and once again, I mean on a larger scale.... think... 20 -30 years from now.... the feeling you get when you think the pace and proceedings currently being performed will belittle the potential of the me 20 from 30 years from now.] and its a really weird nagging feelings. The reaction for me, is it makes me want to rub my right ear..... One of my weird habits that I noticed.

When I feel uneasy in the sense that I feel 'small' (described above), I rub my right earlobe.
When I feel uneasy in the sense that I troubled by something immediate, I furrow my eyebrows and bite my lower rip on the right side (I also do this when I'm deep in thought.)

I'm sure I've got other little habits... like when I suddenly remember something embarrassing, I usually gasp, stomp my feet, or say the first thing that comes to my mind [which may lead to more embarrassment]. And when I feel wronged in a way that will frustrate me and bring me to the brink of tears, I wring my hands like mad [I'd usually be crying by this point].

Yeah... the things I notice about myself...I know.. but what the hey, I've been living with me for almost 20 years.... it can't be helped that I know me well.

SO yeah.... before I go off on a tangent. I really need to do more to stop feeling small........ damn idiots.

Yuy Ren