What am I doing?

I've gotten rather depressed the past few weeks and it probably shows. Its not just the grades, but its the mere fact that I can't seem to focus on my work. I don't see the point in focusing on my work. I mean, I want to do well, but it just seems like I purposely try to push things off as far as possible.

It almost seems like I've lost all my motivation to do well. I mean, I still want to do well, and when I'm actually doing my work, I curse myself for having put if off for so long, but that doesn't seem to stop my from doing it.

I realized a while back that what I lack right now is a goal to work towards. A goal in life. Before now, I have strived to do well for purely arbitrary reasons. Getting a good grade makes me feel good, so I work hard and get it. But notice how I'm not doing it for any specific goal. There's nothing I really want to "be" or "accomplish". I want to do well because it makes me feel good, and if I don't do well, nothing will change only I will feel bad. This level of .... enthusiasm doesn't seem to be working lately.

Doing well does make me feel good, but the sacrifices needed to do well now is on a completely different scale. That little "feel good" thing doesn't seem to be offsetting the excruciating pain of getting to it. The costs and benefits have shifted. What I'm missing, I realize now, is a long term goal. Those that have a long term goal have a different cost and benefit analysis than I. Yes, its excruxiating work, but I will do it in order to achieve my long term goal, which will bring me greater happiness, plus there is the interim rewards of being happy when I receive a good test. That's the outlook that's supposed to be. But I'm missing that long term goal, so I only have the interim happiness to weigh against the tatamount workload, and the interim happiness definitely pales in comparison.

So I'm at a dilemma here. I have no goal in life, therefore I can't bring myself to work hard enough to do as well. There are two things I can do:
1. Hurry up and find a goal. It doesn't have to be life long, it can be temporary, but permanent enough to get me through the next 2 months unscathed.
2. Do poorly.

Obviously, option 2 isn't very desirable, so I have to go with option 1. So far, I don't have a goal, not even a temporary one. The only thing I have going for me now is a new theory that I just made about 2 days ago. Its sort of a crutch to help me through the next 2 months and then I'd like to forget about it. What it is is this:

Don't think. Just do it.

I know this sounds weird, but this is my desperate attempt here to retain some sort of sanity. Don't think about how much work it is, don't think about the fact that you literally have to work every waking minute to receive very little in reward, don't think about it. Just do it. Worry about everything else later. I call this theory "surface." Look on the surface, take everything at face value, prima facie. So far, I haven't seen much improvement, but we'll see.

If anyone else has any bright ideas, do enlighten me.