the beginnning of a very bad day....

hello ladies and gentlemen, if i cease to exist after today, you'll have to tell the rest of the world to refer to this blog and find out why.

Here's a breakdown of what happened.

I woke up around 12... yes, I couldn't wake up earlier... it just didn't work. So I woke up around 12... I went and brushed my teeth and washed my face and as I was doing that, I was feeling progressively worse by the second. I'll just be honest right now... I had cramps. The once a month one.... though thankfully, I usually DON"T get bad cramps.....

So I was like, alright, that seems pretty normal, its just cramps. I'll go to my room, take an ibuprofen and move on with life. So I walk to my room and it gets PROGRESSIVELY worse!
I put my toothbrush and stuff away and I was thinking... ok, time to frequent the white porcelain seat.

So I go to the bathroom, and by now, its gotten PROGRESSIVELY worse. And I had the gut feeling that I'm going to blow chunks very soon. Luckily for me, I was sitting in the bathroom, gagging, but seeing as how I didn't eat anything, there was nothing in me to gag out. So I was alright.... though consistently gagging.

So I'm sitting on the toilet, gagging away, and then it came. This was by far the worst I've ever had it. This one time way back when in high school where I collapsed during the morning announcements in Ms Blacks Tech class in grade 10, and she had to wheelchair me to the office in an office chair. Where I sat in pain until a taxi picked me up and dropped me home and my grandmother gave me some tylenol and I just slept the whole afternoon as the med kicked in.

THAT WAS NOTHING compared to today. Today, I was so bad that I was sweating so much it was DRIPPING off my face.... the rest of my body felt really reallly cold and damp and my shirt was drenched in cold sweat. Oh yeah, and I'm in so much pain I could feel my eye balls constantly rolling back....... And I'm sitting there, fidgeting a lot, groaning, and wishing someone could come here with a shotgun and end my misery.

Of course, that didn't happen. So about 40 minutes later.... yes, in the last 40 minutes, I was induring that said pain described above.... NOT a pleasant feeling. But eventually, I thought, this can't go on. I NEED MY DRUGS! So....... regardless of the pain, I got up, walked out of the bathroom, and then over to my room and by the time I got to my room, I was gagging so much and in so much pain my legs just sorta gave... its a funny experience, you should try it sometimes, where you just don't control your body because your mind it blinded by pain.... so I'm curled up in fetal position in my room..... and guess what? I threw up. Thought that that wasn't possible, since I ate nothing, but I did anyways. Not MUCH, cuz there wasn't much, but I did throw up. So I'm lying on the ground, fumbling through my bag for my ibuprofen and when I got it, I struggled with the child protection lock with my trembling hands... and all I can think is, this reminds me of those horrible tv shows where they show these druggies who are in desperate withdrawal trying to get a fix. Stumbling, sweating a lot, on the ground, fiddling with a bottle, dropping pills on the ground, I did it all. So I took two Ibuprofen, the maximum recommended at one time....

I go to the bathroom again, the return trip just as uneventful as going to my room, but I didn't throw up this time, just gagged.... I sat in the stall, and just waited for the drug to kick in. Usually takes about 15 to 30 minutes.... so I was thinking... ok, 15 minutes of hell, I can wait. By this time, it was around 1:07. So I'm sitting there with my eyes closed and its funny because since I'm so focused on my pain, I can FEEL the drug kicking in. First it was long intervals of pain, then suddenly it dissapeared of about two seconds, and then its back with just the same intensity for about 2 minutes or so, then you get two more seconds of relief. Then progressively, longer relief time, and the pain was less intense. Until finally, I was comfortable enough to almost pass out in the bathroom. I got up when I was sure I'm ALMOST alright. Then I went to my room, ignored the puke, took another pill (I know I'm supposed to take 2 max, but to hell with that, I'm dying anyways...) climbed into bed and covered myself tight with my blanket. I might want to add, by now, I was shivering like mad, now that the initial pain is gone, I'm just covered in cold sweat and well, very cold. So I'm lying in bed going, "there's no way I can study in my current position... I'm going to give it another hour." That was around 1:30.

I woke up around 2:40 ish. Got up, cleaned up the puke. Then I opened a bag of cheerios, I don't really feel like eating, but I think I have to. Right now, I'm wearing a thick thick sweater to keep myself from shivering and drinking water that I've depleted out while sweating and eating some cheerios. I'll get something more solid when I know I won't be upchucking anything later....

So the question is, how am I feeling now? Well, the pain killer will kill the pain for usually around 4 to 5 hours or so. So right now, I'm not too bad. I'm probably physically still in the same state I was before, but ibuprofen is blocking the receptor sites so I don't feel any of the pain. But that doesn't mean I'm completely painless, with three pills in my system, I've still got this dull reminder in me right now... but its nothing that bad.

So, its around 3 PM now... I'm STARTING to work on my homework for the day. I'm so fucking dead. In more ways than one.

Yuy Ren

PS: If you didn't know, Ibuprofen is a fancy name for advil. Or rather, Advil is a brand, Ibuprofen is the pain killer. For the record, I'm taking Ibuprofen (the label says Ibuprofen) but its probably the same as Advil.