Another Blog....

Yes, I know I already blogged today. But I feel like typing some more... you see, apparently, it helps me clear my head. I seem to be able to think more rationally when I write things down. So that's what I'm going to do. I'll just talk about some useless things and once I have a reasonable amount of sense, I'll speak again....

So yeah.. in grade 8, I didn't even have an email address. Everyone else was chatting on msn, and I have yet to get my email address. I know it's very sad...but I seriously didn't have one. I also didn't know how to type. I was averaging 12 words per minute. Which is, come on, a very sorry account. But you know..things got better. I guess... things got better. You know the craziest thought I had?? I thought that cyber and grade 9 is going to be a killer year... I had at that time started to learn how to write with my left hand. Lol. I thought I would have to write so much that my hand would be tired and then I would be able to switch hands and continue writing. That was pretty stupid, now that I looked back it.. I seriously overrated high school. Though I must admit, sometimes when my hand gets tired, it's good to know how to write with your left hand... although I didn't start using that until physics grade 11, 2nd semester. 0_o

Yes... that's pretty funny, don't you think?

Ok, wow, that worked like a charm. I'm almost completely calm now. I can think pretty straight too. And here is my thought of the evening. You see, I actually knew what I was going to say will make him angry... well, I didn't know *how* angry, but I knew he wouldn't like it. Now I'm looking back and thinking... why did I provoke him? Because I knew I was right? Because I knew he was wrong? Well, yes... that was why, but I knew that it could lead to ao fight... so maybe I should have just let him... I mean... letting him win is not the end of the world. It's not battle royale, I don't have to kill him to survive..... So I guess I shouldn't have done that. Normally, I'm pretty nice. I guess I could also say, as an excuse, that I was under a lot of stress, and things just built up... I was really stressed out and I knew I was treading on thin ice.. but decided to go all out....

It's like those decisions you make when you are drunk, when you aren't thinking and just acting, without caring about the consequences. I shouldn't have done that. Next time.. please mark my words. Next time, if I'm already really stressed out and I KNOW that I can't be pleasant... walk away then. If I know that something's going to make him angry, stop, don't pursue. .... crap, I'm clouding up again, damn.. *tries to think straight*.

OK.... these are the things.. in order:
1. when in crappy mood, walk away and don't engage in useless conversation.
2. when sensing that he would get pissed, stop right there and say something like. "ok, we'll do this some other time (if we're working on something). Just try to get out of there as soon as possible. If it's unavoidable... I'll just keep my trap shut. If I don't retort back... then I guess it's ok.

Yeah... I guess that's good. Crap... clouding up again :S OK... think about all the things he's done for me:
- raised me...
- paying for my tuition...
- paying for everyting I own...
- always helps me when I have some problems in school
- skipped half of a work day to help me study for my exam last year cuz I seriously thought I was going to fail (i ended up getting an 83% on the exam :P... but I think I would have failed if my dad didn't help me.
- helps me with physics last year and with math for as long as I can remember.
- is very patient when he's teaching me.
- never pushes me to do something I can't... none of that "you have to get 90% or else" shit
- cooks :P (well, sometimes...)
- has good taste in movies :P likes a lot of the same films I do.... :P
- if I need him for anything, he'll always definitely be there.. took me to the emergency room in the middle of the night, went with my mom at around 11 pm at night to buy medicine because I was uber sick one everning.
- with that whole cecilia incident... he would check up on me in the middle of the night to make sure I wasn't abducted from my room. (i found that kinda cute :P)

There probably many more things that he does that I can't recall from the top of my head.

The bad things... well, he's short tempered. Really short tempered. But hey, nobody's perfect. I shouldn't be so pissed about something like that. He's a nice guy, and I really was trying to provoke him. I knew he was going to get angry but I didn't really stop. Even though he's short tempered, and all that, I wasn't right for doing that either. They say and argument is never one sided... I guess I'll just be more careful in the future. He's a nice guy, I should be more lenient.

Yuy Ren

P.S. Wow.. that was really good rational thinking... :P