I feel like eating my words.

You know, I was going to title the blog today as "the crappiest day of my life" cuz, buddy, it sure feels like that. But then I read my previous blog before I blogged this one and I guess since I'm trying to be optimistic, I shouldn't say that.

Things could always be worse. Well, lotsa other things could have gone wrong to make this a crappy day. But actually, overall, I think today was a good day, it just didn't end as one..... but you know... play the cards you're dealt. It's all good.

Mou.... now an honest question and I want an honest answer. Do I push people to the edge? I mean, do I pursue at things just to get a people? Like, if you're annoyed or pissed, I'll try to make you more pissed? Do I seriously do that? I mean, if I do...then I guess I have an attitude problem, as claimed -______________________-

Personally, I think I'm a fairly nice person. I'm sarcastic and sometimes sadistic (but not in an evil way, I don't think.....) but overall, I'm fairly easy to get along, no?? Man, I'm so.... well what am I? I'm not angry at anyone.. I'm not depressed. I guess I'm a little sad... but I don't know. Apparently, my attitute is unrespectful and I'm light years away from being eligible to teach *him* a lesson.....which by the way, I did not try to do... seriously.... I was just talking like my normal self, and he suddenly picked out something out of my words and apparently my tone of voice that I was being disrespectful and trying to teach him a lesson and he doesn't need to take crap from me... I was really shocked because I had no idea what it is I said that will give such an impression. What should I do?? Avoid conversation? It seems like everything I say will turn into something negative.... -________________-

Ok, now I'm a little pissed, I wasn't pissed before. I need something to take my mind off of things......... I don't think I can sleep even if I went to bed now....

I'm not thinking very rationally, anything I say will probably be terribly biased (to benefit myself, of course). So I'm not going to go into too much detail over what has happened. It's not fair if I do. I'll express my feelings over it, but I won't give a detailed account that's just going to be biased....

Yes... but I am pretty... well.... not pissed. Like I'm not angry at anyone rite now.. I'm just.... sad that it happened? Well, I'm probably not making much sense.

Yeah... so.... today was an ok day with a crappy evening. But things could be worse. I guess I'll get over it?? Oh God, someone please set me straight... I'm so fucking lost to what I'm supposed to do now. I don't wanna fight again.. but I don't want to stop all conversation.. should I just never talk to him again? Apparently, my tone is wrong somehow and I don't know how to fix it!!!!!!! Should I just avoid all useless conversation? I don't wanna do that.. I'll feel like I'm drifting apart, and I don't want that to happen, not that we were ever really close, but if I start treating him like my teachers, you know.. all smiles, respect, never talk back... then what kind of relationship would that be?? That'd be crap... -_-

Anywhoo... yes, I don't know. I'm just going to go to bed now. Comment if you want, and if you still don't know what I was talking about, I had a fight with my dad -_-.

Yuy Ren